Holy Conversation…

Wow, I can honestly say that I have been honored this semester because of this project.  First, this project gave me an opportunity to talk to one of my best friends on a weekly basis.  Through talking with Randy I have had the pleasure to develop the relationship that has been there since we were first graders.  It has been such a pleasure to develop that relationship through getting to know him and knowing his heart.  I cannot say that I would have taken the initiative to know him like this if it were not because of the Holy Conversation project.  Secondly, I got to know Randy for the person he is, not a Buddhist, but as Randy the guy that follows the philosophies of Buddha.  I was amazed at how far Randy has come along in his personal faith.  I am honored to have him as a friend and as a dedicated scholar who challenges me in my faith.

I realize that Randy was not converted through this project, and that was not my intention.  My intention was to have a relational conversation with a good friend in order to be challenged in my faith and in hopes that I too could challenge him in his.  My experience throughout this project was amazing and very rewarding because I feel that for the first time in my graduate studies I was actually forced and challenged to be relational.  I intentionally chose to have a conversation partner that was not of the Christian faith because I wanted to know and be challenged by others that are not like me.  I wanted to be exposed to what I will be exposed to when I am in the real world and I do not have the shelter of ACU and my Christian friends.  I wanted to know what the things were that I lacked in my faith when it came time to defend it.  This project was not to pin point the weaknesses of Buddhism or Randy’s faith, but to expose myself to someone that does not see the world through my eyes.  In a sense I wanted to make myself vulnerable to a friend in hopes that we would both be on the same level.  This project was not about supremacy of religion, but about sharing what I know to be true about with a friend in hopes that she too would share what is true to him.

Peace states that “holy conversation is just that, conversation.  It happens between people who know and respect each other”.  And I truly believe that we have achieved this in our time of conversation.  This project has taught me that I am not to have a pre-conceived goal in mind when I am trying to have a conversation with a person because that takes away from the authenticity of the moment.  I think that having goals when trying to talk to someone, especially about your beliefs, one has the pressure to talk about all the topics in the agenda versus having a genuine time that both parties can enjoy and benefit from.  I do not have any goals in mind for the future when I talk to people about Christ, but I have learned that it is a much more amazing journey when we allow ourselves to learn from others and hear them out.  I think there is a lot to learn from those that are not Christians because they see the world from a different point of view.  “Conversation is more often about life and experience than about concepts and ideas, though there are some key ideas that need to be talked about since they shape and guide experience”. 

A good thought to keep in mind is what Peace says, “To be a good conversation partner it’s important to remember the rules of conversation.  be kind and generous.  Enjoy dialogue.  Expect different views.  Be clear in what you say.  Be honest.  Know that conversation takes place over time.  Try to be compelling in what you sat about Jesus but not manipulative.  Tell stories – lots of stories: stories about him, stories about yourself and stories about God.  To be a good conversation partner you have to take seriously the worldview and the experience of your friends.  Your aim is not to demean, deny or disregard their experience or perspective.  Likewise you need to take seriously your own experience and knowledge, and not mute or alter it.  Remember it isn’t you who converts people.  It is the Holy Spirit.  Your role is to be clear, forthright, honest and knowledgeable”.

I have enjoyed my time of conversation and there are many things I learned that I am going to carry with me for the rest of my life.  I have been truly blessed with friends like Randy that I can call up and we can have an awesome conversation about noting and at other times challenge each other in our faith and personal lives.  To close this project I think Peace summarizes it better than I can by stating that “holy conversation is as much an attitude to conversation as anything.  It’s the willingness in our daily conversation to be open about our faith and honest about our experience of God”. 

I am grateful and blessed because of holy conversations with such a friend as Randy.  It has been a great time my friend!

Talking about Commitment…

I would like to start this post by being personal about my faith because it is essential not only for the grade I will receive on this project, but for the readers that might be going through some of the same experiences I have gone through.  Commitment to something or someone is such a great thing, but it is also something that takes a lot of work and dedication.  Commitment comes with relationship because one is accountable to the other for the process and the outcome.  Peace points out various questions that are important to talk about as we talk about our conversion and commitment experiences with others that I think are very helpful and direct us through the right direction in our faith.  I found it challenging and helpful to think about some of the questions and answers.

“What did your “act of commitment” to Jesus look like?  Or how did you know that you had at that point become a follower of Jesus?”
My act of commitment was not something forced, but was something about faith.  The fact that I am committed to Christ and obedience to God the Father does not mean that I do not have a life.  A lot of people view Christians as lifeless and boring because they think that we lose the ability to live in society, but on the contrary.  When I gave my life to God and committed to live in obedience was the first time that I truly knew what it was to live.  It was no longer me living a pointless life, but God living through me in a way that everything I did had a purpose and point for doing.  Believing in Jesus did not come with fireworks and a big party, but it was more of a personal thing I did.  My commitment to Jesus Christ was something I decided on my own and wrestled with for a long time.  The relationship I have with Christ is one of faith and trust.  I knew that I had become a follower of Christ because I longed to live in obedience to God and the standards for my life.  This does not mean that I immediately became a prisoner of Christ or God, but I decided to live in humility and submission to God.  It was no longer me living a life of selfishness but about a life of relationship and community with Christ and the body of believers.

For Randy describes his commitment to his faith as discipline.  Randy finds that it that his commitment to his faith and how he lives out the philosophies of Buddha are best kept though the discipline of his actions and how he keeps himself accountable.  The act of committing to the faith was not something that came with a big revelation or a big celebration, but it was something of realization.  It was at a point in his life that Randy really connected with the philosophies of Buddha, which were things he had always thought about, but now his ideas had a name and a source.  It was not a “conversion” Randy had to go through, but a realization.  I would not say that Randy has changed to a new religion, but into a new way of life.  His way of life just happens to be in correlation with the Buddhist traditions because he is able to find connection and relevance for his life.  Now, Randy lives in accordance to the “Four Noble Truths”.
     1.  There is suffering in this world
     2.  Desire is the cause of suffering
     3.  You can stop suffrage in this world
     4.  The way is through following the Eight Fold Pathways

“What does “conscious commitment” bring to a person’s life?  Why is it important?”
I think that conscious commitment is a genuine and rational agreement with an individual and their God to live a life of obedience and love.  We are not called to be robots (and it is important for all people to understand this) because God does not want mechanical things to worship him.  But God desires human beings that genuinely have a desire to worship to enter into a commitment with God.  A conscious commitment comes when one comes to the realization that they need something else in their lives.  The commitment comes when they realize that they cannot have hope without something or someone to hold on to, and to me that is Christ.  To have a conscious commitment is important because that commitment becomes a lifestyle that takes effort and sacrifice.  Living a committed life to Christ means giving up a lot of things and adopting others.  The life is not about self pleasure but about community building that leads people to Christ.  It is much easier to live a life of selfish pleasures without giving account to anyone, but that leads to self destruction.  So a conscious commitment means that one is intentional in changing their lives in order to live for something better… a cause.

Conscious commitment for Randy brings about truth.  Truth is anything one is looking for to find meaning for their lives.  Truth for individuals are those things that bring about desired results and personal goals.  For some people that conscious commitment brings about knowledge, peace, and even the hope of salvation.  A conscious commitment is important because people are doing it for the right reasons.  They are not committing to something or someone because it is something out of culture or tradition, but because they genuinely know what they are getting themselves into.  Commitment is something that is born of them and it is an expression of their true self.

My experience of coming to Christ was not about a prayer.  My conversion was not a magical thing marked by “sinners prayer”, but about a desire to have a relationship with God who is superior than I am.  An individual who sees things from a postmodern point of view would see this as mechanical, but my conversion was about building a relationship with Jesus Christ in which through him I have access to the Father.  My journey that led me to Christ was not an easy one, but now that I am a follower of Christ I am truly grateful that God sought me because if it was left up to me I would have never had a relationship with Christ that I have today.  I do not know the exact day or time of when I considered myself a follower of Christ, but I know that I truly love my God because he is so evident in my life and in the lives of others.  As much as I fought him in the past, God just kept on coming back and seeking me out. 

I look back at the way my life used to be and I am truly grateful that I can have a relationship with Christ because my life has never been the same.  I am not saying that my life has been easy since I became a follower of Christ (just look at the grad school program I am in) but my life has had more meaning and purpose since.  The commitment I have with God is not one based on fear or shame, but of constant edification.  I love worshiping God because God is everything I am not.  I have no desire to be like God, but I do long to be obedient to him.  Many postmodern thinkers might say that living under the rules of a “god” is no life at all because one cannot define what is bad, sin, or even what is a good rule.  But the way I see my God is not through a modern or postmodern point of view because my God is beyond that.  My God is and was in control of the past, present and future.  Just look at creation and you will realize that there is a Creator, and that Creator longs to have a relationship with humanity. 

People sometimes get too caught up in rituals and “rights of passage”, but Christianity is not about that.  Randy and I grew up Catholics and the majority of our faith revolved around the idea that we had to do certain things in order to prove out faith and loyalty to the faith, which discouraged us both about what we believed.  So much that it left a sour taste in Randy’s mouth about what it means to be a Christian.  For me, Christianity and my faith is not about what I do or do not do in order to prove my faith, but it is about a relationship with God.  Sure, there are things I desire to do in order to live in obedience to my faith but I do not think that I am called to live a ritualistic life that can become so mundane.  God wants authenticity and not a performance. 

We cannot force anyone to commit to anything or anyone they do not feel a connection with.  Instead, as Christians, we are to live a life of love and acceptance for those that do not share the same commitments as we do.  Christians have acquired a dangerous trait of judging.  But we are not to force them to live a life of commitment to a God they barely know, instead we are to live lives that are committed to praying for them and loving them regardless of what they believe.  God is ultimately in control, and we have to remember that we are not the ones that look for God, but God looks for us.  Christianity is not about numbers and results, but about relationships.

Talking about believing in Jesus…

I can tell that the end of the book is approaching because we have talked about some of the issues like believing in Jesus.  Randy and I have talked about the issue of believing in Jesus before and this is very delicate because I think that the idea of the “person of Jesus” has been greatly abused.  For me, believing in Jesus is the foundation of my faith.  Jesus is more than just a god to me.  Jesus is not an impersonal character I have heard about.  But Jesus is a personal friend that even though I cannot see Him I know he is there.  Jesus is the one individual in my life that I can count on unconditionally and I know he cares.  He is the one that lived a holy life for me (and you) because he knew he had to die for my sins.  He had to live a holy life in order to be sacrificed and offered as a payment for the sin of humanity.

I look at what I believe about Jesus in the sense of me being a criminal.  I can be serving my time and my lawyer comes up to me and tells me, “I know how to get you out of here and all you have to do is believe that it is possible.  I will serve your sentence, be locked up instead of you and you will be innocent not only before the courts but before everyone.  You will without blemish.  And all you have to do is believe!”  I see myself not as a sinner anymore, but as someone that has been redeemed by the blood of Christ.  His payment for me was collected when he died on the cross for the sins of humanity, and all we have to do is believe.  There is no payment, just faith and obedience.

In Randy’s life, his faith is completely different.  As you know, we were both raised in a Catholic home, but for Randy being a “Catholic” was the same as being a non-believer.  His life style was the same as those that did not practice the Christian faith.  Part of his life when he believed in Jesus was when he was a child, but he acclaims that to be out of innocence.  It was through his research and curiosity about other faiths that has challenged him to look outside of Christianity. 

Through talking with Randy I can tell that he has been through a lot and he has truly been challenged in his faith.  It is not that he is sheltering himself from being influenced by other religions, but that he is wanting to find out what it is exactly that he believes in.  Randy has always surrounded himself with people that have challenged his faith.  People like Juan, a Mormon who grew up Catholic.  When his father died he and his family converted to the Mormon faith.  Even though he has been a person that has always been involved in bad things, he has always kept his faith the best he can.  He is true to what he believes and he is loyal to what he believes as a Mormon.  James, a friend that grew up Catholic, but does not consider himself a “fanatic Catholic”.  James is someone that keeps the values and lives in accordance with his faith, but he is not one that is an “extremist” when it comes to his faith.  Alex on the other hand, is a friend who is also Catholic is the opposite of James.  Alex is one that claims the Catholic faith, but does not live the lifestyle of the faith, especially when it comes to women.

Above we had three great examples of how people see their faith and how they live it out according to what is “suitable” for them.  Like Peace points out that “what matters is not just that we believe but in what or in whom we believe.  Faith is not an abstract feeling.  Faith has a direction to it.”  Our faith can take us many places and lead us to do many things, but the important thing about believing in someone like Jesus Christ or even Buddha is that faith leads us to live in obedience.  Obedience is not necessarily “fanaticism” or being an “extremist”, but faith is about living in accordance with what our faith calls us out to live.  Believing in someone or something has its standards and process.  Faith is like being a child that you tell them to believe something and they believe.  That is what is so beautiful about being a child, because they believe without doubting.  It is not about being ignorant, but about believing something without explanation.

My faith in Jesus is not centered on fear, but on faith that he is the son of God and died for my sins and now I can find eternal life through him.  My faith is something I enjoy and am challenged by on a daily basis.  It is a relationship I have to learn to maintain and work to perfect.  For Randy, his faith is about living in happiness and knowledge, but that is what is good for him.  I want to meet people half way and learn from them and hopefully they can learn from me and my God.

Talking about Believing…

I like how Richard Peace starts the chapter off by saying, “Faith must be coupled with repentance for conversion to result.  It’s not enough to own our own sin, need, longing, failure, or aspiration for meaning.  That’s just the starting point.  From this inward recognition of our true state we need to turn outward to Jesus to save us.  This “turning to Jesus” is what is called faith.”  But I was thinking to myself, what about if this turning to someone was not Jesus?  What about if this turning to someone was to Buddha? What about if one believes in just Jesus?  What about if someone believes only in God the Father? 

The conversation with Randy concerning “believing” was a really interesting conversation.  Fist, I would like to thank Randy for helping me and working through these issues with me.  There have been a lot of times when we did not talk because we become so busy, but the aspect I enjoy about our time of conversations is that he is genuine in what we talk about and he does not sugar coat what he believes in.  I think these thoughts are coming into my mind because of the subject of “belief”.  Randy and I genuinely believe in what we are getting out of this project, but most of all we feel that our faith and beliefs are stronger because of it. 

Yesterday’s conversation was no exception to the ones we have had in the past.  Our conversation about “believing” went in a different direction than what I expected.  The book was a great guide for getting the conversation started and going, but once it got going it took a whole different direction.  The conversation went from talking about our belief in Buddhist principles to the belief in how the gospel should be and is being shared across the world.  Randy and I come from such similar worlds, but they are so opposite in a sense and we find a way to accept what each one believes without the urge to try and convert the other.  As much as we want the other person to believe what we believe because we perceive that to be the “truth” we are not shoving it down each others throats in order to get the other person to profess a new set of beliefs.

I thought that this conversation would be good if it was opened by knowing exactly what it is that Randy beliefs and I found out a lot of different things about his beliefs.  I was quickly reminded that we all go through different experiences in order to get to where we are in our faith.  We ended up talking about how each individual has to take a leap of faith in order to believe what they believe.  Our leaps of faith all look different and require different sacrifices and challenges, but none the less we still have to take a leap of faith in order to fully believe in something, like Christianity or the philosophies of Buddha. 

Our conversation led us to talking about who and what it is that we believe in.  What I was curious about was, what aspect of Buddha or Buddhism is it that Randy believes in?  My question derived from the thought of, why is it that he believes in Buddha over Christ?  Why is it so hard to believe in Christ and the gift of God for humanity?  Why Buddhism?  But when I was thinking about these questions I had to put myself in his shoes.  I am sure that he had to have thought the same things for Christians.  Why Christ?  Have you ever asked yourself that question?  Why do I believe what I believe?  Why do I choose to believe what I believe? 

So I asked Randy, why Buddha?

I got the most interesting response from Randy when I asked that question.  All this time I had thought that if someone believed in Buddha that they worshiped him as a god.  But according to Randy and his faith, when you choose to believe in Buddha, it does not necessarily mean that you worship him.  Buddha is not a god, but he was a person that existed and shared truths about life.  Buddha was not holy, he was just a person.  And this is where a lot of our differences in beliefs occur between Randy and myself.  I believe that Jesus Christ was a man that lived on earth, but he was the Son of God.  To me Jesus is the Son of God that came to earth and lived a holy and perfect life.  Jesus was willing to to die for the sins of humanity.  What is so special for me about Christ is that even if he died he resurrected on the third day and that is what makes him so amazing to me.  Christ is not someone that lived a good life and then died, but Christ is someone that lived  a holy life and conquered death.  To me, Christ is my savior and my king.

I understand when people think that God is a god of wrath, and a lot of it has to do with the “marketing” injustice we have done as Christians.  I believe that we have marketed the “idea of Jesus” (or even the “product of Jesus”) in a way that makes God seem like a god of wrath.  For those that are not followers of Christ, they perceive God to be someone that is constantly overlooking their every action because “all” humanity is bad.  And that is why so many people have taken the extra step to believe in something else.  In a sense, that is why Randy chose to believe in some other idea other than Christianity.  It is as if believing in Christianity took more of an effort than believing any other set of beliefs.

For Randy, the idea that we need salvation does not make sense.  The idea that we need a savior limits him to his happiness and the way he can live his life.  Randy lives a very individualistic life style (not in the sense of being selfish) and he sees Christianity puts a damper on the philosophy he has chosen for his life and how that leads him to happiness.  For a guy like Randy that was brought up in a Catholic home he has seen a lot of the politics that go on in the church, and a lot of those politics that we still see today have scarred Christianity for ever.  There are just too many politics involved in “custom” versus faith.  And it saddens me that people think that about my faith because I see how beautiful my faith is, but people cannot see that because of the marks “Christianity” has left behind.  It is not necessarily Christianity the one that has done harm, but the people within Christianity that have taken the faith to a whole new extreme.

One thing that we both agreed about is that within Christianity we tend to have a really good communal practice.  Christians tend to be very communal in the sense that we stand up for each other in issues that impact our faith.  As Christians we tend to ”clump” up and stick up for each other, but that can sometimes be to our own detriment.  Sometimes Christians are so grouped together that we do not allow others to come into our “faith circles” and we block them from seeing the light because of our attitude.  It is as if we force people to try and prove themselves before we allow them to come into our circle.  I think that for Randy, someone that is very much an individual personally and in his faith, the aspect that Christians are very communal has left Randy with a lot of uncertainty about the faith.  The fact that we are concerned about others can sometimes be perceived as being nosy.  While some people like having a faith that is communal, others enjoy a faith that is very individualistic.

The question: what difference does your faith in Jesus (philosophies of Buddhism) make you who you are, what you believe, how you trust and the way you live?  How can these realities become part of your holy conversation?  To me, my faith in Jesus gives me the values to which I am to live by.  I believe that as humans we are to live with limitations and standards for living or else we would not have a functional society.  I think that my beliefs have allowed me to look beyond myself and look for the needs of others.  The fact that I believe in Christ does not force me into a binding agreement that I feel obligated to behave or do certain things, but I want to do them because that is what brings joy into my life.  My faith in Jesus allows me to acquire some meaning for my life.  It is through what I believe that I am able to see things in a clearer sense.  It is when I put my faith in Christ that things and my faith start to make sense.  The standard Jesus placed for my life is good for me, not because I am settling for something I am not, but it gives me something to work for.  My life and what I do is not a forced relationship, but voluntary relationship of submission and dependence on a Creator.  For Randy, his beliefs in the philosophies of Buddha have allowed him to see things more clearly.

It is through the faith Randy has placed in the philosophies of Buddha that Randy feels he is able to understand how and why things happen.  It is through his faith that that he is able to understand this world.  I believe that an evident difference among faiths is that through my faith I want to be able to understand humanity, but for Randy his faith goal is to try and understand his world.  I am not too concerned about why things happen as much as I care about the people. 

I am not saying that we are completely different in what we believe, but what I got from my conversation with Randy is that we both have aspects in our faith about the other faith.  Even though we worship and believe in different things, we both believe in aspects that are very similar to the other.  I believe in things Randy talks about (just not in the philosophies of Buddha) and I am sure Randy believes things about Christianity.  I don’t think that our solution to so many religions is to fight about what each one teaches, but about finding the common ground and making this world function in a harmonious way.  I say I want this world to resemble what God originally intended, but others might say they want it to resemble what Buddha teaches, but what I know is that we are to quit fighting about the teachings and start focusing on the actions that will bring about change in this world… what I would call the Kingdom of God!

Talking about Confession…

I had an interesting conversation with Randy last night.  It was not a long conversation, but it was a conversation with a lot of substance and a lot to think about.  Randy and I do not think the same when it comes to religion or faith, but the way we dissect things is the same because we like to get to the root of the issue and look at the issue in its simplistic form.  I think that a lot of times we tend to complicate our faith and over analyze it that is why people get discouraged in what they hear.  I enjoy my time of conversation with Randy because it is a different experience than what I would find here at ACU.  I realize that the book calls for a lot of things that you can find with a Christian conversation partner (prayer, talk about certain issues of the faith, and reflection of experiences, etc.) but the time of conversation that I spend with Randy is one of constantly being challenged.  I am challenged by the way I think and what I believe.  I am not challenged in a way that I doubt what I believe, but I am challenged to think deeper of my faith and give it more substance.  It is through conversation with Randy that I have found I am able to articulate what it is that I believe and challenge others in what they believe. 

Last night’s conversation dealt with the topic of confession of which I practice my way and Randy practices his own way.  I practice confession in the sense that I recognize my sin (s) and go before the Father and ask for forgiveness.  I do not practice what I used to when I was a Catholic that I used to go before a priest and “confess” every evil I had ever done and hoped that I could find God’s forgiveness through him.  Confession was about going before a man and finding grace through that one man and having to do something to prove that I deserved it.  Now, in my faith, I do not like to go by the title of Christian because it carries a whole different load, but I consider myself a follower of Christ.  I believe in Christ and the sacrifice that he paid for me and I believe that it is through him that I can reach the Father.  Therefore in my faith I recognize my sin (by name) and bring it up to the Father for forgiveness.

Randy does not practice confession the same way I do.  Randy does not see the need to confess the same way I do because he sees it as a ritual that is unnecessary.  To him, confession is but a thought process.  He too grew up Catholic and saw confession in the sense of going before a priest and asking for forgiveness.  But to Randy, confession is about acknowledging that something wrong or bad was done and doing something about it.  Confession is about a bigger change within the person.  Confession is about a personal thing that one is to do on an individual basis.  Confession is not something that you are to tell others about (unless you feel comfortable about it).  Confession to Randy is about recognizing that something has happened and doing something about it.

The thought that got my attention when talking to Randy was when he mentioned that confession is about recognising what is done and doing something about it.  But the idea that God already knows about it (since He is all-knowing and powerful) one does not have to go before him and confess something he already knows.  The idea that since we recognize what we have done and we do something to change that for the better then God already knows and sees that and recognizes that we are doing a change in our lives.  By us acknowledging that there is a wrong we are confessing before God.  This is a simplistic was of doing it.  We are to still recognize the “evil deed” by name and change the way we live our lives. 

According to the Peace, confession is repentance actualized.  To see an issue is one thing, to deal with it is another.  The dynamics of repentance involve two things: naming and confessing.  Repentance begins with insight that leads to naming the issue.  I like the idea of naming the specifics of confession because through it one can recognize what it is that they have done wrong.  It is through being specific on the sin that we recognize what it is that we have done and we can do something about it, and like Randy said, “Not cause harm to the self”. 

I agree with Randy’s idea that God already knows what we have done and that he recognizes that we are doing something about it, but I still believe that we are to come before Him and confess what we have done.  It is like our parents, they might know that we stole the gum from the store, but they want us to admit it and recognize our wrong action.  It is not that they are not going to forgive us if we do not come up to them, but they want to know that we recognize what it is that we did.  I know I cannot compare God to a simple gum stealing parent confessing story, but the idea is that God wants us to recognize and go to Him.  God want us to be dependant on Him, not slaves to him, but he wants us to rely on Him for forgiveness and grace.  God allows us to use our free will, but he also wants us to depend on Him and confess.

I see and understand what Randy is saying and I am curious about how that would play a role in our faith?  Is it logical for me to think that in my faith I do not have to confess because God already knows about it?  Is confession just a complication of my faith, or any ones faith?  Is confession even necessary?  What role does grace play into confession?  How much grace is too much grace?  Is there a limit to grace and confession? 

I am encouraged because I am challenged by thoughts like these after a conversation with Randy.  I never thought that the idea of confession would strike such a curiosity to find answers to my faith.  

Talking about Repentance…

Webster’s Dictionary defines repentance as “to be sorry; to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life; to feel regret or contrition; to feel sorrow or contrition for“.  As you might have already guessed the topic of this post post is about repentance.  Repentance is such a delicate issue because it goes hand in hand with sin and the definition of sin.  As I wrote in the Talking about Sin post, sin has a definition of its own.  What is bad or wrong for you might not be wrong or bad for me.  It is all a matter of perspective according to our post-modern society. 

For me, as a believer of Christ, I practice repentance because I do not want to live a sinful life.  I want to live a life that models the life of Christ, which is a sinless life.  But I realize that I am not God so I cannot live a life without sin because I am human, but I can find forgiveness for my sins when I repent because Christ died for my allmy sins, past, present, and future.  I believe that repentance brings one back to the submission of Christ.  Not that He demands us to be slaves to his will, but he calls us to a different standard than the rest of the world.  For me, repentance is more than just feeling bad about doing something bad.  Repentance is about recognizing that something bad was done which is followed by the desire to live a better life.

While talking to Randy about repentance he mentioned that one word (repentance) does not acknowledge the essence of what the word means because it is about a combination of more than one thing.  Randy does not practice repentance in his life because he views it in a religious context.  He views repentance as taking place in a religious service, therefore he does not try to correct himself because he does not see it as necessary to ask God for forgiveness.  For Randy, “repentance” is about acknowledging that one has done wrong.  For Randy, repentance is not about the change that spirituality brings about. 

Peace defines repentance as changing our minds and about deciding to give up a bad behavior and replace it with a better behavior.  Repentance simply means “to change your mind”.  Based on this definition I asked Randy to talk about a time in his life when he had repented about doing something.  I wanted to know the hard times Randy had faced and what kind of decisions he had made to make things better for his life.  He mentioned that he had done a lot of drugs when he was younger (16 or 17), but he latter realized that he wanted something better for his life.  He realized that he needed change in his life and the way he found it was through maturity and different associations.  His change (repentance) came about through logic and being rational.  This does not mean that he avoided everything in life, but when he compromised his logic or rational (what I call sin) then he allowed the experience to take charge, but what is important is that one goes through it with wisdom in order not to do evil and hurt the self. 

Sticking with the theme of experiences and what their outcome is, we started talking about how our actions affect other people.  I asked Randy how could he be the type of person that would bring insight to others in order to open ways for change.  Randy mentioned he would lead others through knowledge.  he mentioned that through knowledge, leaders and intelligent people have guided others. He stated “do not take my or any religious word for it, but let your own mind lead you to your destiny”.  Which this idea is a challenge to what I believe.  It is not a bad challenge but in a way it goes against what I believe faith is.  Faith and repentance is not about knowledge because that means that we want to be our own god’s. 

The image of repentance for Randy and me is very different and we go about it in very different ways.  Randy and I recalled the time when we were Catholic and used to see people on their knees because they were repenting for something they had done.  Repentance has different meanings and pats for me and Randy.  Randy goes about repentance through knowledge and change, but I experience repentance through submission and change.  Both of our ideas of repentance bring about change in our lives because we know that the one we are hurting the most is ourselves.  We are both aware that our journey of repentance looks very different and we go about it in different ways, but we both realize that repentance and change in our lives is essential for our development as human beings.

Talking about Sin…

This week’s conversation topic dissects the topic of sin.  What is sin and how it plays a role in the life of the believer and non-believer of Christ?  I found this idea to be challenging because we live in a post-modern society that does not see things in the same way as the rest of the world.   A post-modern society claims that what is wrong or bad for one person is not wrong or bad for the other.  The definition of sin is different for one person to the other.  sin is such a hard topic to dissect because while Christianity is straight forward about sin, other religions and beliefs do not see sin the way the Bible defines it.  The Bible is straight forward about its definition of sin.  The Bible depicts what is tolerable and what is not tolerable.  Christians base their definition of sin on Jesus’ teachings and on the Ten-Commandments, but other beliefs do not have the definition of sin that we have.  They have their own definition of sin (and others don’t even call sin a sin) and live their lives avoiding or changing how their lives are impacted by the act of “sin”. 

While talking to sin I discovered that the word “sin” does as a matter of fact have a spiritual context.  To Randy, the word sin signifies something that is done, and when sin is committed then God is going to punish the sinner.  Sin has the association that when it is committed then the God of wrath will show up to show his power and wrath on the world.  For Randy, the definition of sin as punishing oneself.  He views sin as the Spanish saying that states “el que se enoja pierde” (the one that gets mad looses) because sin is taking negative energy and one punishes one’s self.  Sin is something that is bad, but it only affects the self. 

Everyone has some type of sin in their lives (or as Randy stated that a sin can also be a vice), but it is through that sin that we are doing damage to our lives.  One is to try to be sinless by focusing on doing good for the self in order to not hurt one self.  According to Randy, we are to try to do good to to ourselves in order to do good for others.  We have live lives that strive to do good for others in order to become something better.  Randy sees the discrepancies of faith when it deals with the idea of sin.  Sin to a Christian is something that is bad and angers God while for a Buddhist, sin is something bad that hurts the self. 

When trying to define “sin” we felt the need to dissect the components of sin and we concluded that sin is an evil.  Randy defined evil as doing something that is harmful to the self.  Evil is an association with ourselves.  What was a challenge for me to realize was that Randy does not believe in Satan, therefore his definition of evil and bad did not derive from Satan.  For Randy, sin is a stamp that someone is doing something bad to one’s self and not the self doing something bad to others.  Evil and sin are things that affect those around us, but the one that is the most affected is the beholder of the sin.  On the other hand, for a Christian sin is seen as something that is done that affects those around us.  Personally, to me sin means that I am doing something that God does not like and just like Randy said, makes God mad and even sad.  Sin is something that I do and I do not see it as affecting me personally until the day of judgement.  It is almost as if I am storing sin points up in heaven and when I get there that is where I am going to get what I deserve.  I do not really see sin as something that affects me immediately, but as something that I do and hinders my relationship with God.  Maybe that is why it is so easy for me to sin.  Would it be reasonable to say that I sin more easily because it does not always affect me personally or immediately?  Is it easier for me to sin since I do not see God’s reaction and wrath upon sinning?  Why is sinning and doing evil easier than doing the right and good thing?  Why is sin more appealing? 

The author states that “people won’t come to Jesus unless they have a reason to do so”.  This was an interesting comment made by the author that I thought would bring us to a good point in our conversation.  To me, this statement makes sense because I see it from a Christian point of view.  It makes sense to me to go to someone greater than me when I need to make some changes to my life.  o me that greater being is God and I can find Him through Christ and his forgiveness.  But for Randy the change does not come through Christ or through Buddha.  For Randy it is more about seeking forgiveness of yourself through the teachings of Buddha.  He feels comfortable seeking forgiveness and guidance through the teachings and principles that are being taught by the Buddha. 

Upon looking at this I realized that we are both looking for the same thing, but we go about it in a different ways.  While I go to Jesus for forgiveness of my sins in order to live a righteous life, Randy follows the teachings of Buddah  in order for find forgiveness and rid himself of evil in order to live a righteous life.  Or definitions of sin are different, but our goal is the same. 

Our conversation led us to think about the word sinand what comes to mind when one thinks of sin.  What are thing sings that are the most challenging?  We determined that sin is a process in which people are destroying their lives.  The sin that we though was the biggest one was not money (you know, “money is the root of all evil”) but desire.  Desire is the root of all evil because it leads to all other sins and it is the sum of all the deadly sins.  If you think about it, desire is what leads us to do the things we should not do.  Desire is what leads and tempts us to do the evil things we know we should not do.  A lot of times it is easier to say “Satan made me do it” and blame it on the king of evil, but Satan cannot make you do anything you do not want to do.  For me, as a follower of Christ, I look to God for guidance and support.  I realize that I am not perfect just because I am a follower of Christ because I still sin, but that does not mean that God loves me any less.  For Randy it is very different.  Randy keeps from sinning through constant reminders to not have the desires that cause him to sin.  It is about discipline and self accountability.

The book defined sin with words such as: failure, losing the way, falling short, short comings, flawed, not quite right, wrong, trespassing, twisted, missing the mark, imperfection, breaking the law, evil, wrong doing, messing up, rebelling, hurting others, making a mistake, and many others.  But the comment that I appreciated from Randy was when he said, “If we are changing for a gain then it is a waste of time, because we should change for the outcome, no matter the results, it should be because we want to be better”.  This comment goes along with what the Peace mentions that “nobody changes without a reason to change.  All change begins with insight: insight into who we truly are, warts and all, insight into what our life is meant to be over against our deep desire for ease and comfort, insight into how the world works with all of its pain, conflict, and death”.  We are called to do great things with our lives, but because of the evil in sin we impair ourselves and hurt others because of it.  With sin we hurt ourselves, but those around us feel the consequences too.  “Sin is not just what we do wrong; it is what we fail to do.  It is not just bad deeds; it’s failure to do good”.  

Sin should not be all about what is done and how mad it is going to do to one person or the other.  Sin is more about the communal aspect of society because even though we commit sins all the time, those sins are the actions that affect other people.  They cause harm to the self, but they also cause pain to those around us.  Sin is the evil that is brought onto this world through our actions and sometimes our selfish desires.  Whether you are a follower of Christ of Buddha, sin is something that affects every human being.  Sin is the evil that hinders and impedes us from reaching our goals as believers.

Talking about Need…

This week I have been blown away by the content of the conversation with Randy and I enjoyed reading the content of the chapter.  The chapter (Chapter 5) starts off by giving a story of a man called Jerry.  Jerry is a man that has everything one could wish for.  He has the perfect family with the average problems, but nothing out of the ordinary.  He has a good job, good home, and one of his worries includes the fact that he has gained weight over the years.  But his biggest issue in his life was that he was still longing for something else out of life.  Jerry felt that something was missing in his life, there was an inner emptiness. 

I think that a lot of times we are a Jerry in our own lives.  We accomplish a lot of great things and we succeed in everything we do, but there is still a longing in our lives.  Our longing does not have to be something spiritual or something that leads into something deeply religious, but it is something we would like to accomplish.  Longings take many shapes.  We can have a longing to be more and do more, to make a contribution, to find one’s true destiny and place in the universe, to make peace with oneself and the world, to make a difference, to know God directly, to be a good person, or to have real hope for life after death.  We all have hopes, aspirations, and longings in our lives because they play an integral part in the lives of every human. 

An interesting point that is made in the chapter is that as human beings we tend to seek out God in times when we long for something deeper.  Whether our answers come through the teachings of Buddha or Christ, we all have a longing for something deeper and we all go about it in different ways.  Jeff did not get closer to God because someone told him he he was a “sinner” or a bad person that needed a savior, but he came to Christ because he felt that it was through his faith in God that he was able to find answers to his deepest longings. 

This chapter was very much needed because I was able to get to know Randy in a more personal level.  I have known Randy since we were in 1st grade at Burnet Elementary (18 years or so) and I have never asked him about his longings for life.  How many of you have asked your closest friend, even a relative, about their longings of life?  How many times have you asked a random person what their deepest longing is for their life?  I appreciated this chapter because just as I was able to hear about Randy’s desires for his life, I was able to share the longings of my life.  I was able to share and compare those longings with my best friend. 

We started our conversation this Tuesday with a question: do you have a deep longing and how/ who do you turn to in order to accomplish them?  Randy’s answer was a very interesting answer because he has a very Eastern view.  Randy’s response about what he longs for was not something individualistic (common Western thinking), instead it was very communal (very Eastern) in his way of thinking.  Randy longs to help people to something that helps and impacts people to the point that they realize “other things”.  In his efforts, Randy longs to equip and teach people how to think differently.  His longing for life is not to convert or be converted, instead it is about challenging people and himself in their faith.  He wants to have an impact on peoples lives and help people realize and find solutions to those things that have limited humanity for a long time.  There are many other things that time can be dedicated to, but we live in a society that wants to convert people instead of building relationships with them.  We live in a society that tells people what they should think, but we lack to show them how to think through the tough issues.

The next question I asked Randy was: how do you find meaning in life?  He finds meaning through what he believes in and through doing the things that make him happy and serve the cause that does something for others and oneself.  Finding meaning is about finding answers through what is practiced, and according to Randy, the answers do not necessarily come because of faith in God.  As much as I thought about this answer I found that when Randy mentioned that answers are found through what/ who one believes in made a huge connection with my faith and his.  I believe in my life being to the image of Christ and his is being in the image of Buddha.  As much as the ideas differ, they are the same.  Christians and Buddhists might have a different goal and a different ways of achieving them, but we both have the same desire to achieve our goals.  Our faith and hope of achieving our goals have brought us to the same journey in life.

Other questions that guided the conversation:
“What are some longings, desires and needs that have shaped your life?  How has God used these desires, fulfilled these longings or responded to this need?”  For Randy, his longing in life is to make a difference.  He wants to become someone that is different and make a difference in his own life and the lives of others.  History has shown that those before us have longed for something bigger and ended up doing something magnificent and long lasting in our world.  It is through the home culture that Randy was brought up in that challenged him to look for something else.  It was through his upbringing that he acquired a curiosity for other things out there and challenged himself to understand the essence of God.  He knew that there was a higher meaning to life and through it one could learn more about other things.  In a sense this is like my own experience, but in my life I did grow up in a Christina home.  It was through how conservative my upbringing was that challenged me to look outside my comfort zone.  My longing to see the world through a different longing and through the desires of my heart I have been challenged me to be like Christ, and Randy like Buddha. 

“What are the felt needs and longings of the people you live and work with?  What do they want out of life?  How are these aspirations connected to God?”  Randy works in the penal department of the city.  He works with offenders of Houston and processes them so he works with all sorts of people.  He has his co-workers and he has the people he sees and might not ever see again.  His job is very important and he gets to see and talk to people that us as Christians only wish we could talk to, and maybe a lot of us shy away from.  Through his experience of working for the City of Houston Randy has noticed that a lot of people do not long for many things.  A lot of people he sees come and go only long for fast cash and self fulfillment.  A lot of people desire the fast money the “benefits” that drugs bring.  According to Randy, every human has such a vast want out of life that there are so many needs and wants that there is no way to narrow them down.  I, on the other hand, have been in the Christian education system for a good while now and do not get to see a lot of these things.  A lot of times we study hard to reach the people Randy interacts with on a daily basis.  We only long to serve the people that have very little or no longings in life.  But how do we teach people like these that there are better longings for?  How can we show them that what we long for is right for them?  What makes our longing better than what they know is “good” for them (aside from the drug and money issues)? 

Our hope is that people become more open minded.  People are very closed minded because of fear of God and their society.  A hope that me as a Christian and Randy as a Buddhist have is for people to be open minded to things and not accepting just anything that comes their way.  It is good for people to listen to opinions and what people have to say, but just as the Bible states that just as everything may be good not everything is beneficial.  We hope people learn to understand and grasp the origins because that is what faith is about.  Faith is about understanding in their own way.  It may not be the Buddhist or the Christian faith, but what we hope for is that people grasp and understand every aspect of their life, after all longing does not make one weak.  Our calling depends on who God is in our life, but if you do not believe then you will not accomplish anything.  Like Buddha said, “Everything is impermanent” and “do not dwell on the past, do not dream on the future, focus on the present.”

This week we were to talk about needs in our lives.  Just as I long to get an ‘A’ in this class and this and every assignment, the deepest need that I have is to grasp and apply what I am learning to my life.  I long to do a lot of things in my life, but it is the need to accomplish them that is going to drive what I do and what Randy does.  We discovered this week through our conversation that we long for greater things for humanity.  Through what we believe we know that we can make a difference in the lives of those around us.  When Randy is at work and when I graduate and use my degree we both hope we can impact humanity the same way our faith challenges us on a daily basis.

Talking about Jesus…

How does one just get on the topic of talking about Jesus?  I have never understood how the name of Jesus could be on the lips of people all day, every day.  This week’s chapter deals with making Jesus the focal point of our conversations.  For someone that is like me (reserved until I know someone, cautious about what is said, sometimes blunt, sometimes too blunt) the name and story of Jesus is not the focal point of a conversation.  I love talking about Jesus and his essence, but his story is not what I always talk about.  I read in this chapter that one is to learn a couple of stories and paraphrase them when we are talking with others about Christ, but that is a challenging idea to me because that takes the relational aspect of Jesus away from the story.  When we paraphrase the stories of the Bible it takes away the essence that makes it such an awesome story.  When we shorten the stories (especially the stories of Jesus) we take out the essential part of the act and history.

If you are like me, that means that you love to eat, so I will put it in “food terms” so you can relate to what I am talking about.   When one paraphrases the stories of Jesus it is like taking the fat out of the brisket and just giving you meat.  The meat is awesome and it is what we really want, but the fat is what gives that brisket the flavor.  It is the fat that also makes the brisket a brisket and without it then the brisket would just not be the same.  Without the fat the brisket would be dry.  If you have ever cooked a brisket you will know exactly what I am talking about because just like the meat is important for the brisket, the fat is vital for the cooking.  So paraphrasing the story of Jesus to someone I just met or have a relationship with would almost be an injustice to them. 

One aspect that I like about the chapter is when it mentions that “our chief challenge in holy conversation is learning how to talk about Jesus in a way that moves beyond the shallow stereotypes and limited information people have about Him.”  This is what I want to do, I want to be able to portray the wonder of Jesus through how and why I talk about Jesus.  I do not want my conversations about Jesus to be something that I speed through in order to get the fact out and if people believe good, and if not then I have “pity on your soul”.  I want people to be attracted to the story of Jesus because they are interested in what He did and continues to do for them, and not because of how and what I said.  Sure, a lot of things have to do with how I present the story, but I want it to be the the actual theme of the story that interests them and not how I said it and how long it took me.  The story of Jesus deserves every detail and that is why we are to seek the relational aspect with each other so that we can share this with others.

This week’s conversation was really challenging because it did not go the way the book mentioned it would go.  I did all the reading and thinking of the material way before I had the conversation with Randy, but when we started talking he threw a curve ball my way.  One reason that I chose Randy for this project was because he believes something totally different from me and his story is completely different from mine.  I did not want to have a conversation with someone that would tell me something I would expect or something I wanted to hear.  I wanted to have a conversation with someone that would challenge my faith and what I believe, and this week I got my wish.  Randy did not say a single thing I expected, but as much as I tried to beat around the bush for him to “confess” in the story of Jesus, he would just not budge.

In the previous weeks we had talked about issues that dealt with the essence of Christianity, but this week the story was about Christ.  The topic was simply the person and story of Christ.  When Randy mentioned that he did not believe in Christ, that he has never believed in Christ as being a god, I did not know how to react.  I did not know how to react to the fact that my best friend has never believed in Christ.  Randy is the guy that I have been praying for years because he has never believed in God.  I had prayed for his conversion and his salvation, but when he mentioned that he has never believed in Christ that in a sense crumbled my work.  Was I a failure for not allowing him to see the “truth” of God?  Could I have done something sooner in order for him to believe in what I believe?  Could I have done something differently?  Was it me that pushed him to not believe in the truths of Christ?  Was I too aggressive when I shared the stories of Christ that made Christ unattractive to Randy?  Why doesn’t Randy believe in Christ? 

The story of Christ for me has impacted my life.  The story of Christ has impacted what I believe and what I do.  The story of Christ has shaped my dedication at church and at school, so much that I even chose a Christian university for my higher education.  But Randy’s view of Christ comes from the Mexican Catholic perspective that says that Christ was the Son of God born of a virgin and did great things and He eventually died for a good cause.  To me, this story is missing a lot of details.  It is missing a lot of fat from my brisket.  For Randy, the fact that one has to believe in one being does not make sense, and it is this fact that makes him not believe in Christ. 

We talked about the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) and it was when Randy revealed that as a young man he always wanted to know about God, but never took a serious effort to find answers to his questions.  It was not until he went to college that he wanted to understand what Christ was all about, and even then he did not want anything to do with Christ.  The only reason he wanted to know about Christ is to find out what it was that everyone grew up believing.  According to Randy, Christ is a man who was born in Bethlehem and wanted to change things in his world.  He was a man of character.  Other than Christ being a person that wanted to make a difference in the world, Christ did not impact Randy in any aspect of his life.  As a matter of fact, no story in the Bible has ever had an impact in his life.  Randy has gotten all his beliefs and stories from the Sumerian Texts and I have gotten mine from the Bible.  

Now that I look back at the conversation with Randy I realize that I have a deeper appreciation for Randy and what he believes.  Randy is not a pagan or a “bad sinner” because he does not believe something I believe in.  I don’t want to make it seam like Randy is a bad guy that we should pray for his salvation, but please pray for my understanding.  This week I have come to realize where Randy stands in his beliefs and I apprecitate him for those beliefs and his willingness to share them with me.  We might have many differences in our faith, but there are a lot more similarities in how we want to incorporate those beliefs in order to make a difference in the world.  Randy is Buddhist and I am a follower of Christ, and that is perfectly fine.  We are both working to love and change the lives of people in our own way.

This weeks conversation with Randy taught me a lot of things about my friend and about myself.  I have gained a lot of respect for what he believes and it has strengthened what I believe.  But now I know where Randy stands in relation to Christianity.  I know where our stories differ and where they are alike.  I know that even though he does not believe in the story of Christ he appreciates my prayers and I appreciate his.

Really Good News…

This week’s material was very interesting to me.  In class we talked about the issue that a lot of times we want to lead people into conversion when we have not explained the “lingo” we are using.  As Christians we get too caught up in converting people to believe what we believe that we do not take the time to explain to them what it is that we want them to believe.  We are very comfortable in our skins (language) as Christians that we neglect to explain to others the concepts that we want them to understand.  This chapter was really good for me because I had heard a debate about “tracks” and their impact, or lack of, on the people we give them to.  The author mentions that sometimes the track does more damage to the credibility of our faith than if we were to be personal with another human being.  Tracks are just so impersonal because you give the individual the information and then you walk off.

The material was helpful and meaningful for a believer.  I hope that every Christian is challenged in some point of their ministry the way this chapter and conversation has challenged me.  I think that every Christian should be challenged like this, especially if they are going to be evangelists in the mission field.

I started the conversation with Randy this week by asking him the question: “Does it matter what you say, or does it only matter what is heard?” To my surprise Randy did not agree with what the question had to say. To Randy the question was patronizing and irresponsible, because according to him “it is not what is said that makes you want to believe.” So I pressed on with the conversation and continued asking him some questions that dealt with the language issue within Christianity. I asked him to define words such as salvation, Jesus, repentance, faith, sin, hell, and grace and here are his responses.

- Salvation: The goal for religious people, it is something they are preoccupied with
- Jesus: Christian messiah
- Repentance: asking for forgiveness
- Faith: hope, a higher level of hope
- Sin: evil doer
- Hell: where sinners go to
- Grace: peacefulness

I was surprised when I heard the definitions and encouraged at the same time.  I was surprised because Randy’s thoughts did not match what I had thought he was going to say.  I had expected that by the time we reached this conversation something would be the same as what I believe in.  The reason I say this is because we grew up believing the same things, but now his definitions were different than from the foundational principles we got from our traditions as Catholics.  I am not saying that Randy’s definitions are distorted, but his definitions are something that belong to him and that is how he understands the Christian lingo.  In another twist of the conversation I was very encouraged because during the whole time of this Holy Conversation project I was not sure exactly what it is that Randy believed in, but this week I realized that what he believes in is very consistent.  He is not making things up just for this project, but he is giving me genuine answers about his faith. 

This week we talked about the issue of “passing out tracks” and the language that is used.  I had never thought about the issue because I had never really read a track to get all the details.  A lot of this has to do with the fact that I know the terminology so I  did not pay a lot of attention to what the track had to say.  But to Randy the terminology used in tracks is pretty straightforward and very simplistic.  He views the language in tracks to be pre-conceived messages that in an indirect form make you almost want to believe something you do not really understand. 

Even though Randy does understand the language used in a track, his definitions are very different from what the goal wants to accomplish.  In actuality, when I read the example of the pamphlet to Randy he laughed.  You might be asking why would he laugh at something that is evangelism.  Something that is spreading the gospel to the lost, this guy named Randy just laughs at it.  But in a sense Randy has all the rights in the world to laugh at something like a “pamphlet.”  Through this little 2-4 page brochure we expect people to change their lives when we do not even explain what the piece of paper is saying.  We hand out these things like pieces of candy, but we do not bother to explain to them what is the message we want them to understand.  For someone that is not a believer of Christianity it is a challenge for them to believe in something they do not understand… “blind faith.”  The language might not be off, but the idea does not relate to the audience.  A lot of “track evangelists” offer people the language but to not follow through with an explanation of what is being said, and that hurts the ministry. 

We went on and tried to dissect this idea of understanding the language of the gospel and we both agreed that at the rate Christians are making their ideas known, the only way a non-believer of Christianity would believe a track would be if they had prior knowledge of the material.  The primary reason one goes into a church to find out more about what was written in a track is because they were curious about the material and they are seeking more information about it.  People do not automatically look at the tracks and get a realization that what they are doing is wrong and need a savior.

How would you feel if someone came up to you and told you that you were a sinner?  You will probably ask yourself why would you be a sinner if you live a good life and according to your morals and values you were not a sinner.  Who are these people to call you a sinner?  Who are they to tell you that you are no good and God is going to send you to hell?  What if you are a die hard post-modernist and do not believe in the ideas Christians stand for and what is wrong for them is not wrong for you?  What about if you are an atheist and do not believe in a heaven or hell?  How is the “lingo” that is used in a pamphlet going to convince you that you need a savior if no one explains it to you?  You are exposed to the message, but when you are ready to respond to the message the person that gave you the track is already on the other side of the block giving the same piece of paper to some other person that is just as lost as the first person that received it. 

The idea that we ended up talking about in our conversation is how a lot of people are hesitant to believe what Christians have to say is because a lot of Christians have caused a lot of damage throughout history and their “propaganda” is not helpful.  A lot of times the picture that people have about Christians is the damage that they have caused throughout history.  I explained that the believers (the Church) is moving for something better and something that is more relational versus institutional, but our credibility has gone down the pit.  What do we do to change peoples reactions?  We can we do differently in order for people not to see us as a race of our own?  As a clan that worships and thinks something very different from the rest of the world (religions)?  How can we speak in a language that makes sense to people and they can genuinely believe and relate to the message we want them to know? 

I hope that I can talk through a lot of these questions and get some clarity through my conversations with Randy.  He is really good at communicating with me and challenging me about what I believe, and I hope I can do the same for his faith.  I am not relying on getting all the answers through simple one hour conversations, but I am confident that the Holy Spirit will challenge me and help me grow in our faith.